I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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