Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You work out of a Hotel?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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