i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
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I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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