tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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