I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
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We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
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Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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