Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
that is very illegal...i love you.
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