We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize