??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize