omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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