there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize