for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i've created a new STD.
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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