i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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