I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize