You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize