I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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