If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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