Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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