if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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