I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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