what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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