she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize