Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize