Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize