I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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