Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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