Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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