I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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