I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize