he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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