Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
the raccoons are back...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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