Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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