I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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