You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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