I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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