btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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