you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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