I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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