yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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