im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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