If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
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I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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