He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize