made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize