i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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