I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize