I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize