Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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