Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize