told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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