you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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