Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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